Writing Contest Winners 2019-2020

First Place, Grades 6-8

Gracie Augustine
Grade 7, Wilmington Middle School, Wilmington
Mrs. Theresa Fisher, Teacher

These songs are from the toilet's point of view explaining what happens when the wrong thing gets flushed down the toilet.

Toilet' Plan (Parody to God's Plan by Drake)

Toilets Plan:
Yeah they flushing and flushing and flushing and flushing
They flushing down me ya
I've been flowing smooth ain't no problem with me
Just with 1 and 2 and that paper beside me
Don't be flushing baby wipes down me
Trust me things don't dissolve correctly
I don't want to break for you to listen to me
Just so we're clear I don't need your hygiene
Cotton balls and swabs don't flow well down me
Flushable doesn't mean it goes down me
Just don't, just don't
Coffee grounds hold me back so
Deer Island will thank you if you just don't
I finessed without the floss oh ya
The pipes go down for me
I got lots of elbow grease
I don't need no more please
And still
Bad things,
It's a lot of bad things
That they flushing and flushing and flushing and flushing
They flushing down me
Bad things,
It's a lot of bad things
That they flushing and flushing and flushing and flushing
They flushing down me
Yuh, ay, ay
You give me dirty laundry I only take partly
Grabs onto a bend and brings it all up to me, I'm sorry
Fifty dollars cost to repair
Eighty-one when pets come to the party
And you know me
Tryna keep it simple with three p's
Only flush pee, poop and that paper beside me
And you know me
Imagine if you stopped throwing hair down me
Just don't, just don't
I can't do this on my own ay, no, ay

Got the trash as colleague
Yep, close
I've been me since gravity ay down ay
Might seem to flush easy wait

I go bad with medication wait
Plastic, gum, and paint ain't making me feel great
And still
Bad things
It's a lot of bad things
That they flushing and flushing and flushing and flushing
They flushing down me yeah, yeah
Bad things
It's a lot of bad things
That they flushing and flushing and flushing and flushing
They flushing down me, yeah


Don't, Don't, Don't I'll Choke (Parody to Row Row Row Your Boat)

Don't, don't, don't I’Il choke
It won't go down my stream
Personal, Medical, and Household trash
Won't go down clean

Pee, Poop, Paper will work
Won't come up my stream
Dearly, Dearly, Dearly, Dearly
Island will seem like a dream

Don't, don't, don't I’ll choke
It won't go down my stream
Fat, oil, and grease alike
Will go against 3 p's

Pee, Poop, Paper will work
Won't come up my stream
Dearly, Dearly, Dearly, Dearly
Island will seem like a dream!

Page 7 of 13